Tag: self

I may as well fess up

I think I have a periodic fear of this blog.
I often think on reading the news that such and such would make a good post and then I lose my nerve and decide that it’s too self indulgent and write it but not post.
Then I look at other blogs and change my mind back again.

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Doing the limbo

It has being very much a limbo time for me. December was a hard month. January is looking brighter; but I am waiting for some dots to connect.

I’m waiting for a space with a new specialist. Looks like I’ll be waiting till May, which kind of means that I can’t really start the rebuilding project that I committed to before Christmas.

A home care service has started; personal care and house work. It’s interesting having my time managed by somebody else to the extent that it has happened. I think they have the impression that because I don’t work I don’t really have a life. I hope these are just teething problems.

2 stick figures doing exercises

After watching previous seasons of The Biggest Loser over the last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking more about my body and fitness. I wasn’t really given a lot of information about or options as a child and teenager about what to expect from my body or even a clear sense of fitness options beyond standing frames. I wasn’t involved in sport (even wheelchair sports). This is no one’s fault, but I do feel like I’m missing out on getting the most out of my body in terms of the strength that it has and weight loss options. Yes I do have a belly! Fitness is also a good distraction and stress management tool.

So I did a bit of digging and found this. I am ashamed to admit that I don’t even remember being told what sort of cerebral palsy I have, so I guess I need to start there. I could make a guess but given I’m going back to see the GP on Friday I’ll ask.

For example, I’ve realised as I written this using voice recognition software again, how much of a tactile person I really am. I’m impressed with how quickly I can get things “down on paper”, I do miss typing. So I think exercise will be good for my head as much as anything else. It might also help me reconnect with my form and stop feeling like a head on a stick.

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alls well

I feel truly blessed. I’ve had two weeks of interesting conversations, strong connection and social stimulation.

One such blessing: the weekend just gone was filled with beautiful food, organic food markets, conversations about social and environmental responsibility and change management, tree planting laughter, love and hope.

We asked these friends; a couple nicknamed here VW and VM to come and visit us from Melbourne after we did “a heavy mile or two” by phone before Christmas and  on the 4th they rang and by the 8th we were hugging and laughing like no time had passed.

VW — is a placemaker with a Mauritius heritage that I met through work. In fact he met PB first.  He specialises in bringing people, place and environmental consciousness together, with very loud suits, amazing love and passion and laughter coupled with an incredible deep and profound spirituality that never fails to move me. He has studied under Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth” environmental movement. In addition to this though he connects the dots between environmental and social sustainability and inclusion – which is where I’m passionate.

His wife the wonderful (whom I will call) VMis a skilled and talented musician with a more quiet but no less veracious passion for place and purpose, the environment and those she loves.

On the initial evening a warm balmy night light tapas and wine flowed with beautiful light but smart conversation flowed. On the Saturday which was an incredible hot day we trotted of to the Orange Grove Organic Markets — which demonstrates a good example of the sort of places VW aims towards. Despite walking around and not spotting food VW and VM seemed to conjure an armload of fresh produce. The wish on their part and agreed by us was cooking us all a “feast”. And what a fun time that was. We talked. We laughed. My newly beloved kitchen was filled with beautiful sights sounds and smells, with a pleasant subtlety and freshness to the footprint left on me, the house and with a bit of luck the planet.

PB and I had been hatching a plan to plant a tree with the lovely pair. So after a nap and some more philosophical and consciousness conversation we planted a “hopi” Crepe myrtle tree — not this one, that we also picked up at our trip to the Market. Crepe myrtle have a particular significance to me, especially the pink ones. To me they mark an arrival. The tree was then duly blessed, both spiritually and in the practical “watering” way.

I felt content, aware and heard in my space. Embraced and conscious. Mindful too of my needs, my prints and my intelligence which has felt slightly dorment but is re-awakened with a heavy dollop of social justice again.

I feel more alive and we feel supported.

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la vie passionnée

In one line, she challenged me.
With 6 words she made me stop and reconsider.

I have been challenged today. Challenged away from advocacy to participation. True participation. The embracing of life.. Beyond all the rhetoric I have been sprouting about living for the now.

(more…)

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