on economy of various sorts

I’ve been reading and hibernating mostly. Just being quiet and trying to battle technical dramas of one sort or another.

I’m feeling more naturally able to be quiet and a bit smaller. Not in terms of stature but in terms of the footprint stuff. My own footprint and the extent to which I let other people’s footprints on me and never find out about it.. Not entirely of course. But certainly with strangers I’m better than I was. I’m remembering the need for boundaries, if not always remembering to apply them. As I said to someone yesterday I’m now remembering to include myself on my radar of people to care about the preference of. Even if i then don’t choose not to apply my preferences, as i often don’t, (preferring others needs to my own), I usually resent the sacrifice less because it felt more of a choice. Which I’m less likely to “automatically” repeat if the costs to me are too high or the return on investment is too low.

My quest for personal economy is heightened as well. Saying less is a beautiful thing. Not only wise in terms of social matters, but better resource management for me. I am learning to embrace my inner introvert, instead of fight her or merely tolerate her thanks to Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. In summary I understand myself better. I now have a clearer idea about why loud random people and noise not only causes spasm but annoyance and almost a different sort of pain.

I’m still also on the minimalism track from a bit of a different angle this time. Among my reading on my iPad is also Walden. There’s a lot in there, but while I don’t fancy myself ever becoming a subsistence farmer with arguably only one or 2 sets of clothes, I do wonder how much money and more energy I could still save. I also wonder how extreme I would be ready to go.

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Five

Five years. People talk about five years like it’s a long time. It is, and it isn’t.

Five years ago today I started work back in Australia after what can loosely be described as “time away”. I re-entered the disability sector. I re-entered the Church (which in my case eventually included becoming a Catholic). Five years ago, I was single, and hurting.

I can remember waking up at stupid o’clock on the morning of 8 May. I have known for some three weeks then I would be starting in this job. I had in fact already been to a quarterly meeting the Thursday prior with one of my colleagues who I had known previously leaning back watching a slideshow demonstrating some of the problems that I would be dealing with. I suspect part of him was relieved that among his busy roles, someone else would be dealing with access–whatever that term means. However, it was still my first day in that role.

Anyway, all suited up, I arrived at work, on the early bus and was sitting outside a nearby church a little after eight o’clock. I had been asked not to start before 9:30 AM on that occasion. I remember feeling nervous.  I remember the sunshine. I remember trying to empty my head so that I could focus on the day. I also remember feeling powerful and having a real sense of the possible. As it turned out, a lot was possible. But I was still very naive in some ways as to what I was taking on. Who knows what a bit of extra knowledge would have done.

I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately. The wasting of it. The good use of it. The goals we set and forget. The goals we remember. The visions we have for which we have some responsibility, and those that are more esoteric.

Matt’s post on creating time for your life, was good for me. I started thinking about the passage of time. Then, at the conference, five articulate advocates were asked to share five ways that they hoped the disability sector would be different in five years. Ramp Up’s editor very articulately made the case that there was a lot more than five things that she wanted. It was the only time at the conference that I was close to tears (well no, but the only presentation that brought me close to tears).

In another part of my life–blogging  Danimezza shares powerfully and intimately the journey she has taken through time, including importantly the stuff we choose not to speak about on our blogs. You go girl! I’m proud to be a lurker on your blog. Blogging can be hard if you can’t be (or don’t want to be) classified as a particular “type” of blogger. I’m often just an “other”–a position I’m fairly used to.

I didn’t think today would be a review day. But I’m glad it is. In case you are interested tomorrow I will do my five things. But I want today to think about it.

 

What’s on your agenda for the next five years?

 

 

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