So Redfern station is to get a partial solution to access eh?

I understand the government wants to get people to Australian technology park, but what then? And it doesn’t really address what I see as Redfern’s main role in the system -that as hub.

I agree with REDwatch it’s a step in the right direction. My worry is that Redfern will as a result go to the bottom of the to-do list for future upgrades.

I also wonder what it says about the government’s lack of expectation of us as full citizens with full contributions that one platform is meant to be enough

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True to our word.

I want to stress something and then then let the rest of the post speak for itself.

The big thing I want to disclose is that I haven’t made up my mind about my position on the so called “asylum seeker” issue that is at the forefront of the Australian political scene with the election on September 7.

I do think that it is a humanitarian issue not a defence of the realm issue. I am also a fan though of processes (as anyone who has lived with me knows) and due process so queue jumping of any sort annoys me.


Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free
We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea:
Our land abounds in nature’s gifts
Of beauty rich and rare,
In history’s page let every stage
Advance Australia fair,
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair.

Beneath our radiant Southern Cross,
We’ll toil with hearts and hands,
To make this Commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands,
For those who’ve come across the seas
We’ve boundless plains to share,

With courage let us all combine
To advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia fair.

Emphasis mine

The other thing is I make no comment here on whether the above should be our anthem. It is.

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I may as well fess up

I think I have a periodic fear of this blog.
I often think on reading the news that such and such would make a good post and then I lose my nerve and decide that it’s too self indulgent and write it but not post.
Then I look at other blogs and change my mind back again.

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What a difference a few inches makes

Reviving a friends blog for his musings while overseas has jogged my memory that I too have a blog, sorely neglected.

Some of you will no doubt be pleased to know that I have still been writing. In fact more than before. See this from an entry on “day One” written when I bought an iPad mini. It is the case of “what a difference a few inches makes”

“This might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I might be getting closer to that dream “writer” image of myself that I’ve coveted for years. Images of me sitting perfectly poised and serene with a laptop in a quiet dimly lit cafe, intently people watching one minute and steadfastly focused on the great Australian essay the next flood my dream self. Of course I could never fix on whether I wanted to live in an austere environment, as a hermit or as a collector of “inspiration” in the form of stuff.

But the romantic image of sitting in a coffee shop remained”

And 3 weeks in now I can attest to that. I am indeed writing more. Both longer pieces that I can leave and come back to, or more incidental notes from reading/listening to audiobooks that I’m doing more of too. I’ve written a well meaning but angry email to Amnesty International while lying in bed. I play “Hey Day” (think FarmVille but better and less annoying) while drinking wine waiting for transport, I read “designing 2050″ over a piccolo latte.

Yes I could do all of those things on the iPad and I did do more than I ever did with the laptop. But the simple fact is I didn’t do it unless it was required. I would look up my calendar when I needed to, only getting out iBooks when I knew I was going to sit there a while, like an hour or so and when I had enough desk or table to look vaguely together and typing felt strangely stressful. Even though the iPad is small and is useful and was a good size and compromise, the iPad mini feels very automatic and very one handed friendly. Like its size was built for me

Before this turns into a “Brought to you by…” post let me tell you that I’m loving the fact I can just do mini things in my mini pad and carry a smaller bag into which the iPad’s smaller frame can fit without planning the bag pack.

I’m centralising my writing too. Although I do carry pen and pad which also still fit with ease in said bag, I don’t feel bereft. I’m writing more because it does feel worth it to get the mini out for “one line” which invariably turns to three. I’m writing emails though I’m still behind on my social catch ups. I’m processing my head better which I’ve had to do more of lately, and hopefully doing s o with less of a burden.

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Tuesday/Wednesday tiny; Maybe not such a dork these days

Tried to post this yesterday, but only just discovered it didn’t go

Maybe this insecurity is born out of being teased at school I’m not sure but I always get a jolt of pleasure when I notice strangers reading the same books as I’ve read, listening to music that I’m even unlikely to bring out at a dinner party or playing a game on iPad/iPhone that I’m embarrassed to admit that I love (to the extent that I usually reserve it for the bathroom).

While family and friends are generally a different matter; with strangers I’ve tended to hide my taste or lack of it in such things, considering myself somewhere between a renaissance woman, an old soul or just plain dorky.

So when in the last week or so I’ve noticed separate women, roughly matching my demographic reading a book I’m also reading, listening to music that I recognised as in my “might be dorky” collection and playing a game on an iPad ( and she looked like she was further ahead on it than me)I smiled broadly. Maybe I’m not so much of a dork these days

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Feeling funk-y

An email to a legal eagle friend of mine regarding dinner tonight. Yes it’s another self indulgent no real detail post but its a good piece of writing and this is my blog after all!

subject: due disclaimers

Hi Mr Eagle

I’m sort of in the mood to write this rather than text. Perhaps in the writing I will in and of myself feel better. But I thought that i had better give you the option to back out of tonight.

It’s not health related at all but a whole lot of very minor and not so minor things are leaving me feeling flat and very humph as well as frustrated, from the personal to the beauracratic (” are you sure Nicol is REALLY your last name?”), from noise to pedestrian, from being too invisible, to too visible at the same time, from the individual to the collective, from wanting to be thanked for my generosity more in some cases to wanting to be anonymously kind in others, from wanting some people to ask me for help, to wanting others to quit taking advantage of me, from wanting to be out in the beautiful weather to wanting to curl up in a ball in the dark, from wanting stodgy rich food while simultaneously being a health nut.

It’s just one of those days and no it isn’t tired. I’m well rested and feeling ok considering. It’s just a funk and seeing you would no doubt help. But if the idea of me lamenting the dichotomous absurdities and frustrations of life is unappealing or even not saying anything on the topic I will understand, :-) Consider thyself warned and all disclaimers being now duly tendered in this case, in the matter of “Should “Mr Eagle and Joanna dine tonight?”, speak now or forever hold your piece :-)


Ps I do feel better having written this :-)
PPS Maybe I should stop reading books on finding happiness!

By the way, he said yes to dinner! How lucky am I?

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What will

I was reading a series of blog postsfrom Beth on a 10 week read along she did of the Willpower Experiement. I haven’t read the book ( though it is on my wish list now). It seems like the book was written for me. It’s not that I always fail to follow through but personally driven, personally focused committments over multiple days is hard for me.

For example it was time for me to do my annual GTD tweaking. This time however, having fallen off the wagon almost entirely so think of it more as a decluttering detoxing rebuild of a very ill GTD system.

So this weekend officeworks and I became well acquainted and I have a beautiful office space; complete this time with a working tickler and reference filing thanks to a working filing cabinet which I have resisted to greater or lesser degrees in previous rollouts. One of my main rationalisations being that being computer savvy, I would of course scan every bill and other documument into a perfectly ordered system of virtual filing with full and consistent backup and redundancy!

Ha! And we now return you to your regularly scheduled program: reality. So I’ve started with the filing system and with my somewhat consistent efforts to purge the office here, my “girl den” as I’ve taken to calling it, is looking good, even a tad sparse.

It is now a beautiful space. It is clean and crisp. I even got a spontaneous “oh wow” from a visitor after it was done for the day. I was and am proud. I haven’t done the mind sweep David Allen suggests you start with because I have learnt that while it is neccessary to do that step and thoroughly I can get bogged down in it and not get beyond a project list that looks and feels unwieldy and unforgiving.

So today I tried sorting the bedside shelves which is where I want to store my shoes- in pairs ideally, fancy that and atop which I house my equally disorganised jewellery case. That was today’s project and it was an excavation in itself as we’ll as a high exposure to dust! But yes I got there.

So in one way, yes I did good. I continued decluttering and took on another bite sized activity while maintaining the clean and clear surfaces.

So the other side of my pride and going back to my original musings about willpower I havent really continued on with the project I started on only yesterday. Although what I did do today was great, I’m a little angry that I didn’t have the staying power to even do a two day project. I get excited when I finish a set of post-it notes rather than lose or de-sticky them through carelessness because right now it seems so unlike me to follow through or finish anything!

Leaning back and trying to be self-kind now, there are two things that stand out from the blog posts.

  • Choose one thing at first to develop will power for: decluttering, going to bed early, writing, drinking water and do a little bit each day. I guess this is among other things the idea that neither Rome nor our willpower were built in a day.
  • The second was a tip with I think very broad application; about time. Quoting the author of the blog now:

    “Studies show that most people, like Sonnet and I, “wrongly predict we will have much more free time in the future than we do today” (p. 94). What’s helping me is to find a way to get ever-closer to my goal of a decluttered house, even though I’m busy. For me, this means one clutter spot (sometimes a very small one!) per weekday. Even on extra-busy days, I can usually do that. And if I do miss a day, I just make sure I’m extra-motivated to pick up where I left off the next day.”.

So for me, being as realistic as I can about the time and resource available, I’m going to try and sort my intray for an hour into the right context lists and remember to whiten my teeth tomorrow night.

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I could talk

So much I could say. So much I could post. Though of course not all of it I would post. I could and probably should post about the NDIS/disabilityCare thing and the problems with that label, not to mention any of the other funding or UN Convention on the RIghts of people with disability implications. Or I could talk about the sense of disconnect I fear between the expectations placed on the NDIS and what I fear the outcomes will be, especially in terms of the expectation of being participatory human members of society. Not to mention our own expectation of this.

I could talk about the trip to Melbourne; the changing vibe, the highs of interesting conversations about choice and image, perception and empowerment, of tram rides and train rides executed without fuss, or the extra of the seeking of permission, the lows of scheduling and missed opportunity, of mixed messages, of debates with taxi drivers yet again about the validity of the interstate taxi vouchers; (what is with it with this regular but random impression that no one with a disability travels, much less without an entourage of the strapping and the young).

I could talk about Seymour. Of awe over both people and the place. Of more interesting conversations. Of feeling both part and apart. Of movement, doing and watching. Of longing and yearning, beauty and sadness.

I could talk about the herald article about the sterilisation of disabled woman and self-directed care, assisted decision-making and full dependence. I could talk about the role of parents and the tensions there. I could talk about a housewarming party I went to a few weeks ago and a conversation I had with a woman doing research on the siblings of people living with disability and wondering what my brother would say.

I could talk about the experience I had at this college with them trying very hard not to exclude me from festivities but to also not drench my chair during a surprise water bombing.

I could talk about the books I am reading, expanding my thinking on questions of faith, doubt and also the future.  I could talk about the management of sad memories and sadness for relatives that I don’t know.

I could talk about feeling increasingly invisible and unimportant generally and feeling a wish to bunker down but have more fun. I could talk about my efforts to declutter and simplify. I could talk about technology, in its failing and succeeding. Depth not width.

I could talk about the fact I wanted to stop talking and thinking about “disability stuff”, but have realised anew that it is interwoven as part of my own fabric. In fact I could write about how so much of the thinking and feeling outlined above is interwoven and feeding into a whole that as they say is greater than the sum of the parts.

I could and might write about these things. Or I might just post this as an expression of the way things are.

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