These tools came from a book I listened to today by George Simon. They were presented nicely the context of communication with particular aggressive character types but I think that there is application in a broader sense as well. My own thoughts I will include in bold. Otherwise it is a direct summation.
- Accept no excuses especially from myself. The ends never justify the means for inappropriate behaviour.The objective of aggressive behaviour is always to resist civil conduct.
- Judge actions not intentions.
- Set personal limits; both for what you will tolerate including from yourself and what you expect.
- Make direct requests. Use I statements.
- Insist on direct responses
- Stay in the here and now.
- When confronting an aggressive communication, behaviour or person keep the weight on the aggressive behaviour.
- When you need to confront someone avoid sarcasm, hostility or put downs.
- Avoid making threats. It’s a form of manipulation.
- Take action quickly
- Speak for yourself.
- Make reasonable requests.
- Be prepared for consequences.
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