I’ve been watching DVDs lately of Sex and the City in preparation for the movie that opens here on the 5th of June. It started out by being a pastime – a thing of lightness and fluff to compensate for a heaviness and intensity that is part of my life at the moment.

As I have gone through the six series with a kind of binge then drought methodology I have made some choices and reflected on stuff that has both inspired and terrified me. Who said you can learn nothing from TV.

I am in fact quite lazy, although quite busy. It is my lack of determination to a cause, my lack of discipline to follow through on any real goal or to finish what I start – no matter what that is. There I said it. There are other things of course, but that is one that hits me now.

Take just now for instance. I sit here at 5:30 at night on a Saturday. I have done little else but sit almost naked in front of the DVDs complaining. I have not even cleaned my teeth and despite my recent alarm at my gas bill I have just put on the (albeit electric) heater, instead of putting my clothes on.

As i typed that all sorts of excuses flooded my head; SO asleep in the bedroom, and even I’m ashamed to admit my disability and my back which has just now decided it is sore.

As for what I want: I think it is to remind myself how to create a smaller footprint on the world and those in it and show myself I know how to save money again.

Oh and: the value of friends and words.

Thanks SJP

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