Ashey

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This is really sad. Scary too on a number of levels. Personally and globally. But I’m torn. I think.

At one level, I have some small sympathy for the parents. It must be hard to see your child, help her, know her as your own, but otherwise be unable to engage with her at a meaningful level save for smiles and such. There may be an element of the protective there. Certainly a read of the anonymous entry by her parents would suggest as much.

But I can’t help being scared. This is a bigger picture issue which I will think more on. Designing a girl’s life so young based on what others think will be comfortable is problematic largely because the timing sounds like a convenience thing even if the intention was not.

Ashley was not having discomfort from her predicted large breasts, or her periods, because she was not developed to that extent yet. There are other procedures that are so much less invasive and do not cheat one of the rhythm and intrinsic internal wisdom, that evolves later than 6. Given the parents acknowledge some engagement with the world she was perhaps cheated there.

Personally as someone who was initially and incorrectly diagnosed as moderately -severely retarded then profoundly deaf simply on the basis of not turning my head to sounds, I can only say phew. I am neither retarded nor deaf, but I do have a form of Cerebral Palsy that leaves me chair bound and Dependant on one limb. Some will label that as moderate. I would still like to think I contribute, in ways including and beyond my state of as a friend puts it “chronic inconvenience” disablement.

As a woman with the above, there are elements of disabled womanhood that are really icky and or inconvenient . For many there are alternatives, for others, still icky, but part of life. Like anyone’s life.

This a very dangerous slope and while I don’t condemn the parents I am nervous about what might be considered uncomfortable for whomever later. Certainly the past has had examples of such “decisions”. I’m all for slopes, but I’ll be keeping my brakes on lightly for this one!

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